Relationships are hard. That’s no secret. But when you’re on the same page, those difficult moments blossom into something beautiful down the road. On the other hand, if you’re not on the same page, that’s when things become uncomfortable and unfulfilling. So, how do you weather the hard moments to build the relationship you want? You build a relationship vision together.
Now, this doesn’t have to be something wildly complicated. It just has to be a picture of what you see yourselves like together. It’s shared thoughts on how you interact, how you spend money, what your future looks like, etc. Many of us tend to have these feelings and visions in our hearts but we haven’t talked them out with our partners.
I have one question for you nodding your head, saying, “Yep, that’s me!”
What the heck are ya waiting for?!
Sharing these visions is where real connection and strength are born in a relationship—because if you’re not on the same page, you’ll never fully capture what you want.
So, today, we’re going to help ya out with a few prompts to do this in your own relationship. This practice has helped us strengthen our bond and get exactly what we want out of our partnership—and we want to help you do the same.
Relationship Vision vs. Relationship Goals
But before we dive into the nitty-gritty details of how to build that relationship vision, it’s important to understand the difference between vision and goals.
The vision is a dynamic shared outcome of many itty-bitty goals you set together. Ultimately, you can look at the relationship vision as the end goal. A vision is not a goal because goals are designed to be measurable, and you likely can’t measure your vision.
With that in mind, you need to first take a look at that big-picture vision of what you want and then, break it down into achievable goals.
Our Relationship Vision & How We Got There
The important thing about your relationship vision is to realize that it’s dynamic. Our vision when we got married is totally different than what it is now at age 50.
When we were wee young ones when we first met, our vision was to have a quintessential family. You know the one. The one that danced across the Christmas cards in matching holiday PJs, kids that loved us, everyone happy and healthy. And that was all great for those early days.
But now, our kids are grown, we’ve manifested a lot of that, and it was time to dig deeper.
Today, our vision is to be a power couple that doesn’t give a sh*t what other people think about us. And we want to leave a legacy by investing in young talent that brings beautiful arts and culture into this world when it needs it the most.
So, how are we doing that?
We determined four components where we’re setting goals to get to that vision.
They are:
Honesty
Autonomy
Shared experiences
Intimacy
Other areas you may consider for your relationship vision may be spirituality, quality time, trust, forgiveness, finances, appreciation, etc.
Where do you feel you need to focus to reach that bigger vision for your life together? If you’re a visual couple, maybe turn this into a relationship vision board you can come back to.
We know that if we invest in these areas we’ve identified, we’ll be able to set ourselves up to achieve that new relationship vision that will fulfill and satisfy both of our souls simultaneously. And isn’t that the goal of any relationship?
Deciding You Are Committed to Your Relationship Vision
So, to recap, the first step is to identify the bigger vision for your life together. Then, break it down into different components that will lend themselves to building that. After that, within each component, periodically set measurable goals to work towards (quarterly is a good start—make it into a fun date night).
But, perhaps the most important part is committing to the vision, the components, and the goals.
It’s going to be hard. But it’s going to be worth it.
Our brain tends to like to take the easy way out. It doesn’t like tension or resistance, and both of these things will come up when you’re working towards a shared relationship vision. Stick with it and be consistent, even through that inevitable tension, and that’s where you’ll get everything you want and more out of your relationship.
Listen to the Podcast for More Tips & Tricks to Build Your Relationship Vision
So, it’s time for you to take this, and do some work.
We want you to check out the podcast and video of the entire Creating the Relationship You Want episode. You’ll get more examples, relationship goal-setting prompts to help you identify your components, goals, and vision, and a pretty crafty visual involving a rubber band to help pull it all together for ya—literally and figuratively.
We’re excited to see how your relationship evolves in the next year, putting these steps into play—this should be a fun process.
One thing, though, before you go… don’t stop with this year. Do this exercise at the beginning of each new year. Reflect and set new goals, and reevaluate if your shared relationship vision is still accurate. This is where you’ll experience true joy and transformation.
You’ve got this!
