Our world has changed a lot in the past decade, especially in the last few years. Many are ditching their colleagues for coworkers of the four-legged variety, dating is sparked by a swipe on an image, and friendships are harder to manifest than ever with the demands of family and work life. With that, we’re dealing with what experts call a “loneliness epidemic.” With well over half of Americans reporting loneliness, especially in underrepresented minority groups, developing meaningful connections and relationships is a real problem.
In Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs, it goes beyond just food and water. Love and belonging is smack dab in the middle of the hierarchy. This hierarchy shines a light on the fact that we physically and mentally need connection to others to thrive and become the very best versions of ourselves.
Why We Need Meaningful Connections with Other Humans
So, all that said, we need human connection.
And I’m not just saying that because having friends feels good.
It’s literally scientifically proven that we do. Here are just a few fun stats for ya that confirm it:
- Strong social connections can actually strengthen your immune system and increase your chance of a longer life by 50%.
- People who feel more connected to others have a lower risk of anxiety and depression.
If these aren’t enough for you to head to a local meetup or finally try that dating app you’ve been eyeing, I’m not sure what will be.
I get that it’s freakin’ tough to put yourself out there when you don’t feel ready. But, in reality, that’s when you need those meaningful connections the most. When you feel connected to another person or a group of people, you’re able to manifest the self-worth, self-trust, self-confidence, and self-love that’s harder to bring to life when you’re feeling lonely. You have the support that is required to help you thrive.
The Relationship Cycle & How to Navigate It
So, when it comes to building meaningful connections and relationships, where do you even begin? I think it’s important to be aware of the relationship cycle. It will help you avoid self-sabotage when things get tough and be more intentional about how you go about cultivating these evolutionary connections! So, let’s dive into it, shall we?
Step 1: Interest
The first step to building meaningful connections and relationships is showing interest.
Whether that’s the initial butterflies and sparks flying between someone you feel romantically attracted to or joining a group with individuals that share your passion for a certain hobby.
Step 2: Exploration
Once you feel that initial interest, you have to take action to explore what that relationship would be.
Ya know, back in our day, we passed notes in class or called a home phone and chatted with someone’s parent to get through to them. Now, this may look like setting up a coffee date, messaging on Facebook or a dating app, or texting to see if you have enough to chat about for this to be a real, meaningful connection.
Step 3: Interaction
This is where the good stuff happens. After you explore that initial connection, you start interacting.
Maybe this means going on a date and digging deeper on tough questions. Perhaps it’s hanging out with this new friend from your group one-on-one. The important part is that the effort goes both ways.
Step 4: Connection
After you interact, connection is inevitable. For my husband and I, once we realized we both loved jalapenos on pepperoni pizza and had a slight obsession with 1950s Chevys, it was solidified for us.
For friendships, this could look like realizing you have the same favorite musician or are obsessed with personal development books.
Step 5: Angst
Now, angst is an inevitable and uncomfortable part of creating a solid connection. You’ll find out the person you have been dating has immense credit card debt, or maybe your friend doesn’t share the same political beliefs as you.
If you can’t move through that discomfort or conflict by having those tougher conversations, you will need to start over. And with that, you’re sacrificing vital depth of relationships that will ultimately make you healthier. Which leads us to the next step…
Step 6: Humility
Now is where you get through the angst by understanding and accepting that we’re all imperfect. Everyone has something they’re working on. It’s accepting that you’re wise, happy, peaceful, and humble enough to walk through this with that important person.
It’s that selfless kinda love or friendship that lasts.
Step 7: Belonging
This is where you’ve done the work, put in the time, moved past the hard sh*t, and you finally have your people.
Relationships Matter. Invest in Them.
We may not be cavemen who need a pack to survive the cold winter anymore. But you still need your people in this big, beautiful life. You can’t (and shouldn’t) live without love. Plutonic, romantic, whatever kinda love it is, you need at least some of it in your world to achieve ultimate happiness and fulfillment.
Listen to our most recent podcast, where we dive deep into the relationship cycle, how it manifested in our marriage, and how you can be intentional about building those meaningful connections in life. See ya there!
